Min Ho’s POV
I haven’t seen that call coming. I wasn’t expecting it at that moment. The very moment when I was nearly about to kiss her. Just the time when I thought I had the answers for the million questions I have been asking myself.
I adjusted the shower knob from warm to cold. The cold water hitting me instantly. I let the water run, placing both of my hands on the wall of the shower cubicle. I don’t know if for how long I have been standing there. I closed my eyes and suddenly an image appear in my mind.
I see her troubled eyes storming with different emotions as she forced herself to smile at me to make me feel better. She doesn’t know how hard it was for me all this time. But the most difficult part is watching her pretend that nothing ever happened between us and taking all the blame on herself. Feeling frustrated, I clenched my fist. If only I could tell her everything is not her fault.
She has no idea that she is constantly on my thoughts. Thinking only about her all these times. The little moments that we ended up spending together, I began to realize that I feel differently for her. That I actually started liking her. That crazy girl who doesn’t even know how I felt for her because I haven’t told her.
I can’t tell her. Because someone is waiting for me. She promised me that she will make it work between her and me.
This is not what I have planned for. How will I know that by a crazy twist of fate, I will meet her? But I can’t fall for her. I can’t let myself fall for her.
I finally walked out of the shower grabbing the towel. I quietly slipped into the bath robe and walked back into the room. I perched into the bed crossing my legs. I had kept my phone on the bedside table and it was ringing. I stared at it letting it ring for a while.
I answered, finally picking it up.
“Sunbae?”, I said upon hearing the familiar voice on the other end.
“Can we talk? Should I call later?”, he asked me.
“Sunbae, you know that you don’t have to ask me and you can call me anytime.”
I replied knowing him well. He is always like that. Him wanting to know if he had disturbed me. He is my personal bodyguard and assistant and has been working for me for quite a while now. After all these years, he is still trying to maintain that professional distance and respect, although it is not required at all.
“Well, alright then,” I could hear his voice relaxing a bit.
Both of us had a share of arguments and differences because he wanted to do his job effectively and I am unhappy with the restrictions imposed on me at times. But we shared a comfort level and understood each other well. He had seen me at my darkest and brightest days. He cares and considers me like a younger brother but he will never tell me that. It was typical of him. I momentarily smiled at the thought.
“So how are things with her?” He asked me interrupting my thoughts. For one split second, I thought he was asking me about Jas.
“She called me up today,” I replied upon realizing who he was talking about.
“Is everything fine? You sound sort of different.”
He really knew me well by just hearing my strained voice catching my mood. I ran my hand through my hair not knowing what to reply. I suddenly felt like confiding to him.
“Well actually, I have some good news for you that will make you really happy. I think I am the first one to break the news for you. The agency will be calling you up soon. They are confirming as we talk. We got the call today. The one you have been waiting for?”
I heard him telling me. I’m listening intently to him now, holding my breath.
“We got the call from Director Yoo Ha. They are offering you the lead role for Gangnam Blues. They will send the script here. It’s your call now. Chukahaeyo! (Congratulations!)”
He told me and an evident excitement in his voice. I was stunned hearing what he just told me. I was finally getting a chance to work with Director Yoo Ha. The one I had been looking forward to work with for a long time now.
“Min Ho, are you there?” He asked me not hearing any response from me.
“Yeah…” I replied still speechless.
“I understand how you are feeling. Your hardwork is paying off. This project is bigger and a much larger scale that Director Yoo Ha’s last movie. It seems that a North American movie studio is also backing up the project. Not to mention the list of distributors it has already found. And the movie is almost ready for pre-production.”
He added in an understanding tone. I just stood there holding my phone listening to him. The news is finally sinking in. It was a huge opportunity that came suddenly knocking on my door.
There was so much happening in my life at the moment and I didn’t have the time to pause and reflect.
With one more phone call, things become more complicated than it was before.
I am pacing back and forth in my hotel room not knowing what exactly I was doing. I was supposed to pack my luggage but I am just throwing everything haphazardly into the open bag.
‘What else?’ I thought. Fidgetting at each passing moment. I had been like this after returning back to my room. My flight was scheduled in a few hours and I had been quite unsuccessful in gathering my things because I was half-heartedly packing. My mind is drifting now and then no matter how I tried to concentrate.
I found my old comfortable pair of blue jeggings and a white tank top and slipped into it. Randomly picking up an open knit sweaters and wearing my flat pumps, I was ready.I sat down on the bed zipping shut the luggage and setting the dial of the lock. I suddenly felt exhausted.
Placing my head on the headboard, I sat on the bed for a few minute steadying myself enough to head down the hotel lobby. My hand suddenly find its way to the phone lying on the bed. A picture of a man is staring back at me. I immediately hold the phone close to my chest clutching it hard as a sudden wave of emotion hit on me. ‘I need to get out of here fast.’ I thought as I forced myself to get up.
Giving a last look at the room, I made my way to the elevator and pressed the button to both of them whichever will be faster to take me down the lobby. One of them opened on my floor as I stepped into it, pulling the suitcase with me.
After checking out at the reception, I went ahead to the front of the hotel waiting for a cab. I saw one of the hotel staff calling out for a cab for me.
“Thank you,” I said to the staff who is smiling back at me.
As I settled myself on the back seat of the car, I looked out of the window mumbling a silent sorry to someone for leaving without saying my godbye.
It was the best thing for both of us to avoid the uncomfortable silence that prevails between us. I am used to seeing his smiling face that has been missing for a while now because things have changed between us. I can’t stand it anymore watching him like that, struggling with himself. It hurts. It hurts so much that it was killing me. So please forgive me.
♪♪♪Smile brightly, don’t worry about me if I’m smiling like this right now. I won’t be able to forget, I’ll be the only one who remembers us. I won’t forget you so you can smile.
Smile brightly, I’m just thankful because I have memories with you. I can hide them and take them out when I’m alone. It will strengthen me when I miss you.
Only with my heart, I will steal you.
Only with my heart, I will hug you.
That’s enough for me so don’t get hurt because of me…♪♪♪
Min Ho’s POV
I checked my watch and decided to head down the lobby. I pressed the button of the elevator waiting for it to come down. I stepped out on the floor she was staying just as the adjoining lift is closing. I walked slowly towards the direction of her room all the way thinking of what I will be speaking to her when we meet.
Upon reaching her room, the houskeeping staff is already there. I hurriedly went down the reception where my suspicion was confirmed. She was avoiding me for reasons we both know.
I stood there in the front of the hotel lobby feeling hopeless and lonely for the first time.
The distance I traveled from the cab to the terminal must have been the most difficult walk I had ever been taken in my life. Each step. Each passing moment was taking me away from him. I have mentally prepared myself for this but iit was turning out to be harder than I thought.
I stopped waiting for a while as I saw him walking towards me. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him in the eyes now.
He reached out his hand and took the phone from my hand. He remembered. The mobile chain of my phone had been broken when I pulled my phone from his hand trying to get it back away from him. He removed the old mobile chain and repaced it with another one.
I stared at it as he was placing it back on my palm. It was a star-shaped lavaliere studded with swarovski crystals on all the edges and it was hollow inside with a sterling silver chain.
“Thank you,” I said finally meeting his gaze that I have been avoiding.
He held out his arms as if he was about to embrace me but he suddenly stopped and extended his right hand instead. I gingerly took it shaking his hand in return. No words from him as he stood there holding my hand.
I slowly released the hold of his hand, gently slipping it away from mine. I was ready as I took a deep breath and met his gaze.
“Goodbye, Min Ho ssi. Please take care of yourself.” I finally told him, smiling.
“Goodbye, Jas…” He replied after a pause as he slowly turned and started walking away from me.
From then on, things became blurry. It was just the sight of him disappearing from the distance. There was something else I wanted to tell him. Something I had realised long time before but never got the chance to let him know. Standing there in the middle of the crowd, watching him walk away from me, I finally was able to speak those words that meant to me.
“Min Ho ssi.. Saranghaeyo.. Oppa..”
My voice was barely a whisper in the cacophony of sounds around me.
♪♪♪ Just locking eyes with you makes me shed tears but I will remember you being affectionate and the days when you hugged me.
If we run into each other like fate, please pass me by like you don’t know me. Even though my heart will cry like it has been torn into two. But I can still see you for a short moment while you pass by.
Only with my heart, I will want you.
Only with my heart, I will kiss you.
Don’t be sorry, this is my life whether you love me or feel sorry, I still feel the same way for you. ♪♪♪
Min Ho’s POV
She was watching me as I walk away from her. There was so many things I wanted to tell her. Although my heart seems to be telling me something else, I slowly made my way to the Departure area.
Then suddenly, I halt my steps because I felt someone had called my name. I quickly turned and frantically searched among hundreds of faces for that familiar face.
But she was gone.
One fine day, she walked into my life and now she was gone.