In Retrospect

Hi there! I wanted to tell you that THIS is not an ordinary post. I made this blog two years back from now. Oh yes! Year 2012 of December 12. One of the best thing about WordPress is that you can set the date and time of when you would like to publish your post.

12/12/12.

What an amazing numbers we have here. This is the last repetitive date. And I wanted to remember this moment.

So how do you do? Or should I better ask myself how am I at this very moment?

I welcome the day giving care to my patients in the Medical Ward of Mohammad Dossary Hospital, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

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I am quite happy that I have been in this country for almost one year and four months. Somehow, I have managed to survive.

Two years from this date, where in the world will I be? Whom will I give my nurturing care by then? I hope that I still am in the path of my profession.

Eventhough, I have my family and friends with me, I can say right now that my heart is empty. I have spent my 24 years waiting for that special someone.

I hope that I am no longer waiting two years from now. That I have found the love that I have been waiting for. My happy ever after.

This is how I looked like this 2012.

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Two years from now, I wonder how will I look like. I hope I gain some weight. Will I be stronger and wiser?

Thinking about the future is a scary thing. A future no one knows but God. All we need to do is surrender to His loving grace.

My future me, I hope you are doing good all this time. Because right now, I am well and good. Stay strong!

The Woman, The String and The Letter

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That woman’s heart is as clear as a mirror, and as beautiful as the cherry blossoms.

Give her the truth and she will give you a lifetime of friendship.

Give her your smile and she will give you a life full of gratitude and never ending blessings.

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That woman’s heart is like a river.

She has so much love to give to the people surrounding her; like a river that continuously flowing to the sea.

She has fallen in love and out of it, get hurt, cried, dropped and faltered hopelessly on the ground.

But chose to keep her heart beating.

And love that same person yet again.

Making Choices.
Giving Second Chances,
Third, Fourth and then Fifth.

Willing for Fate.
Praying for Hope.
Keeping Promises.
Whispering wishes.

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Call her, and she will lend you her ears and will still understand even if you keep on repeating the same story over and over again.

She will give you an advice full of the words of God and will make you remember to have faith because everything happens for a reason. We might not know the reason yet but God knows.

Only God and God alone.

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That woman believes that FATE is a string that quietly connects her heart to another.

Following that invisible string to feel even the slightest vibration is what connects people to feel and understand each other.

And that woman has an invisible string that connects her to me.

That woman is:

My Colleague.
My True Friend.
My Sister.

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To the woman, who is celebrating the gift of life for this month, there is only one thing I wish and hope; a battle worth fighting for: Spend every second of your life searching for the spark that makes you feel alive.

There’s no other fight quite like it.
You will fail, and it doesn’t matter.

Let the entire world thinks you’re pathologically unstable, because it doesn’t matter in the end.

I know because I was and I did.

Reach for the stars with a million strangers at your side or all on your own.

Because there’s nothing quite like going through life with your head held high.

Ignite that little spark in your life, Princess.

And more importantly, leave a permanent mark on every person’s life.

The same mark you left in my heart.

Thank you for the gift of friendship and a Lifetime of Hopes, Dreams, Love and Promises.

Happy Birthday Ate Yinyin!

Pray For South Korea

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Bring forth and light thy candle,
For thy souls we have lost
We shall find again.

Like a scorching heat of a sun in thy morn
And the twinkling of a star in thy night
Let’s give light unto thee,

For those souls that wander,
They shall find thy road again.

한국을 위해기도하자.

How to Brighten Up Your Mood

Pulling up four different look in just a few hours only means one thing: I’m in my darkest mood. And what’s the best way of brightening up the mood by having a creative outlet and telling your own story with the power of make up.

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Be fierce and brave. “The tougher you look, the gentler the good people will be around you.”

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Be sweet and innocent. Embrace the little angel inside you.

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Be romantic and loving. When you love yourself, the world around you will start loving you.

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Be classy and a timeless beauty. “When in doubt, just be a lady.”

Try different looks but remember to never lose your identity.

Getting Intimate With Korea: The Land of the Morning Calm

Confucius once said in Analects, “Isn’t it a pleasure to study and practice what you learned? Isn’t it also great when friends visit from distant places?” But what happens when people from all around the world have already visited you except for that very person near you? Because both of you are not allowed to enter each one’s country. For reasons you both know but do not understand, the line has been drawn.

There is a Military Demarcation Line which separates the South from the North Korea, or simply put the DMZ in 38th parallel. Within these zones, barbed wires and thousands of landmines are scattered all throughout. Only the trained military officials are allowed to enter near the area. On the South, approximately 2 million young military officers are in constant vigilance from the movement of the North, and vice versa; very well aware of the risky situation and conventional threats they are facing.

The thought of the Korean Peninsula being the only divided country in the whole world is heartbreaking. What made it all the more painful is the millions of families separated for almost half the century.

Who would have thought that the constant bickering, misunderstanding and disputes from the Noron (North) and Soron (South) during the reign of powerful kingdoms and dynasties more than two thousand years ago woud eventually lead to the division of the country? King Sejong would really disheartened if only he knew. The sacrifices, the crimes and conspiracies that were left unpunished in order to settle the Northern and Southern faction during those period had gone into naught.

The country had already been divided and neither of them knew when the war would end and be once again reunited as one family. There were no walls to break like that of the Berlin Wall in Germany during the Civil War. But the invisible wall between them is more difficult to break than that of the Berlin Wall.

The wall is called IDEOLOGY. The differences of ideals between the two are being tested through time and were proven to be a very strong reason of division. Personally, I don’t know which of the ideology is sound. The vision of the North Korea to unite with the South after World War II and their freedom from Japanese colonozation is ideal. But to unite the two under a Communist regime? That, I am not sure of. With my experiences and personal circumstances, I am completely partial, if not disagreeable, with the Authoritarian type of government/management. The South Korea, on the other hand, wanted to embrace their independence with a complete freedom; and be an anti-Communist Republican country which was supported by the United States of America during the United Nations General Assembly, formed after the Second World War. But the thing is, the South Korean government are leaning much too closely to the U.S. which made me question, yet again, its “independence”.

The North then invaded the South in an attempt to unify the Korean Peninsula by force, later on called – the Korean War. The US forces promptly came to assistance of the South but hundreds of thousand Chinese Communist intervened on the side of the North which made a military stalemate. An armistice agreement was eventually signed after three years of battle. A cease-fire line was drawn dividing the Korea near the 38th parallel with a four kilometer wide demilitarized zone (DMZ).

Up until now, the two countries continue to hold a working level talks and conferences and the longest cease-fire was recorded in the history.Certainly, it is the most sensitive issue which should be taken in caution for it can either bring the peace and unity everyone dreamed of; or it can bring about the impending war that will greatly result to the loss of many innocent people.

Sixty years, indeed, is such a long time. While the South continue to progress economically and is a renowned country from all around the world in Science and Technology, Entertainment Industry, Sports,  Culture and Arts; the North was being left behind not only in economic growth and stability but in every other aspects as well, for their government is mostly centered in the military.

The North Korea, being a Communist country and lead solely by one figure of authority, had all the news media being censored. These restrictions further hindered their growth and their knowledge about the ‘world’ behind that DMZ. Perhaps, most of them didn’t know that their country is only a small portion in the vast land of the world.

The North Korean’s primary source of livelihood is fishing and agriculture. Despite the technological advancement in every part of the world, it is disheartening to know that they still plow their land in a traditionally obsolete ways. Trading is also restricted and they rely only on their own crops and vegetations, and the help from China, being the only neighboring country that can send aid to them, which are still not enough to support its people and army. The suffering grows especially during the winter season.

The growing number of ailments and the increasing rate of mortality in the North due to poor economic management and deficit in medical aid are alarming. Either their leader is turning a blind eye on this pressing issue or simply doesn’t care enough for his people, and internationally claiming “self-reliance”, brought waves of sadness in my heart. It is a defining characteristics which the North korean leader instigates to the mind of his people, the isolation and resistance to the outside forces. Despite all these, the people still believed and abide their leader. Such is the obedience  that even a word or an act of disloyalty to their leader results to the death of not only the ‘doers’ family but each and everyone of his relatives. Whether their loyalty is because of fear or love to their leader, they are still needed to be rescued and saved.

There is a documentary I saw a few weeks ago in the National Geographic Channel about a North Korean military officer who have different ideals than his leader and thus, he voluntarily surrendered to the South Korea by intoxicating his fellow officers and risking his life by going through series of barbed wires and undetermined area of land minds in the DMZ. They were two of them who decided to leave but he is the only one who had managed to get out of the DMZ alive.

He was surprised to see the place called the South Korea. It is very different from his own country and the people in the South are actually living, living for their dreams. I completely agree with him for that statement. It is the only country which the past and the present, the traditional and the contemporary, coexist together. Being exposed to the society and cognizant of the reality, he felt even more remorse to his leader and deep pity for his countrymen. There is one question that sent shivers down my spine; he was asked if what he thought had happened to his family. He answered, with a lump on his throat, a single line: “I don’t even want to think about it.” With those words left unspoken, I understood. But he is determined to make his sacrifices worth while. He is now playing a great role to the South Korean’s Military Intelligence, giving the South and edge to the North.

Despite the North Korea’s decline in economy, it still continues to prove to be a powerful country. They have a strong and aggressive military troops and the most feared nuclear weapons. The number of the nuclear weapons possessed by the North Korea are still unknown, and even the US were thinking that it might number in thousands. Whether or not it contains Uranium, remains to be proven…and dreaded.

The unknown and uncertainties brought the South Korean government to prepare its people and be on guard constantly. All males who reached the right age are required to spend 21 months in military training irregardless of his financial or social status as long as he is medically fit. Just recently, the latest batch of the academy have graduated. One of these brave, young men is Kim Hyun Joong. A Korean actor who was well known for his fresh and serene look as a “flower boy” in Boys Over Flower and plays different musical instrument as one of the members of F4.

The military training is a big sacrifice for men like him in an Entertainment Industry; leaving the glamour and the popularity of his career, and facing the uncertainty of the future. After artists like him graduated from the training, will the industry still embrace him? Will his fans continue to wait for his comeback? If the time comes for Lee Min Ho to enter the academy, I will certainly wait for his return. Well, will you? These words are really daunting. Fortunately for Kim Hyun Joong, just days after his graduation, he has been offered a lead role for an action movie. It is a completely different and mature role, and what he learned from the training can make a really of good use. But when I first saw him in the news few days ago, I could not recognize him. Gone are the vibrant and happy look on his face, for his eyes lack luster in it and he somehow look sad in front of the camera. The training really took its toll on him or probably, it is just how they are trained, to paint a flat affect for a facade. And yesterday, during the press conference of the movie, he looked a lot better than I remembered. The excitement for his new project is evident on his face and he expressed his gratitude for the industry and his fans. Being his follower, I am happy for the outcome of the training and most importantly, for giving a great contribution and service to his country.

The different stories of love and loyalty to his country by these two young men are only a part of the greater and much larger scale. The young man from the North showed his love and loyalty to his country by stripping off his military title and surrender to the South in order to rescue his countrymen for the suffocating iron grip of their leader; while the popular young man of the South gave up his career as a rising star to be at service to his country. Most certainly, their sacrifices will not left unrewarded.

I sincerely hope that the reward would be of much greater good for a much greater purpose: the unification of the North Korea and the South Korea. I believed that it is just right around the corner. Since the event in 1999, when the South sent shipment of fertilizer to the North, it resulted to an agreement of tourism development, sponsor joint sporting team and events, open communication and economic links and most importantly, they have also set a timetable for separated families to be reunited. And last month, the North Korean Leader, Kim Jung-Un had given his interest of reconciliation with the South Korean President, Park Geum-Hye. And for the first time in history, the North Korea is starting to reach out to the world.

As a girl who loves the Korean history, culture and arts, there is no better joy than to see the two country reunite. I believed that the joining of the two countries will be a force to reckon with.

Peaceful Reunification.

A dream? Maybe. But a possibility, nevertheless.

Happy New Year

I was supposed to write a lot during this season but things never turned out the way I planned. I was caught in the middle of something almost all the time and either I am too happy or too sad to write.

Today, I was finally ready to write my last post for the year and I have to say goodbye with a few lines.

Goodbye, 2013. I will miss you for sure but I am also glad that you have come to an end.

2013 was a crazy roller coaster ride.

I hit the bottom and at the same time, touched the sky. It was a year full of hope and despair, struggles and victories, sadness and joy.

I had some of everything and a little of something.

During the coming year I want to be me. Every year, I always tell this to myself but this time around I will redefine me. I want a happier version of me.

I know that I am different and my happiness is somewhere else.

Somewhere other than being here.

There is definitely something else that I wanted to do with my life.

So this 2014, I will follow the path towards my dream, no matter where it take me. Fear is not an option. I have the soul of a butterfly and butterflies need to fly to feel alive. I promise to spread my wings.

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So I’m sending you my best wishes for 2014.

May you remember to spread those wings and reach for the sky. But when you faltered and cry, may you remember to fix those broken wings and never give up to bounce back all over again.

And as you reach up to the sky, remember to always place your feet on the ground. ‘Coz you will never know when you will stumble and fall.

Happy New Year, Everyone!

And oh! Here’s Oppa Min Ho sending you his wishes. ♥

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To my Oppa Lee Min Ho, I wish you success on your upcoming movie, Gangnam Blues. I hope that you will soon reach your dream, to be an International Actor. ♚